23 maj 2013

Heartless & less...

And again I’m feeling as if my naked body was lying spread on wet, cold rocks. Really hate it. Do you know this sensation; a sense of total solitude and coldness? People believe that hell is a place full of fire. No, it’s not. Hell is like this; you’re cold, you're alone, enveloped in total silence.

And my heart is floating on the ocean of despair. And I let it go further and further...  

Hey, did you know such a equitation?:


Well in other words you may say that ocean consists of drops while a drop consists of ocean. 
blankituss, girl, alone, fashion, water

And I swallow the ocean and the ocean swallows me. 

Some people believe, I’m among them, that a single person is like a fractal of universe. And I couldn't agree more. “The ingredients” are more or less the same in the case of human body as in the case of the whole universe. A body is just a far way smaller “dose” of all ingredients. And that also explains why in one post I’m writing about fire I’m having inside and about water in the other. I simply consist of both and it really complicates my life ;) 

Now I'm at the turning point but I don't know what to do or where to go and which element will take control over me all I know is I need to move. Inertness means death. 
Ana Beatriz Barros 3

7 maj 2013

flowers on fire

Bright moments always lead to gloomy moments in my life. Never opposite...

Again I have a feeling that I’m participating in a Greek tragedy. Really unthinkable coincidences have led me to even more unthinkable situations. At the moment, I’m really fed up with walking, searching calling… Again I’m at crosswords when it comes to my professional life and other aspects too. And more and more questions are arising staying unanswered...

The situation repeats itself year after year actually. There’re two months left to my birthday and in May I’m always a bit down and it’s not a question of growing old, to tell the truth I wouldn’t like to be younger even one day. The thing is though I must admit I’m successful a list of successes always seems shortish somehow and I have a sensation of wasted time.

And now, honey, I'm not going any further...Now I want to stop. Going this path's too painful and tiresome. I’ll rather stay here withering instead.

This post is dedicated to my friend Dag, who can read between the lines though not always gets my metaphors ;P Hope the desert-like-feeling making us two flowers on fire will go away soon. That’s my wish for our birthdays :*
 PS. Dag, you're such an angel and I'm such a rebel, I've always been a rebel... but now we feel the same. I still have a gallon of petrol and a box of matches. Let's set fire to this shitty world, Mon Amie!!